Our topic today, class, is one of aka_monty's pet subjects. There are few things in this world that get me completely bent out of shape in a second or less...this is one of 'em.
So...
Dear Fellow Motorists,
I would like to thank you all today, for your fine attention to your driving. Especially those 10 or so of you who blew right by the school bus parked in front of my driveway this morning, as we were loading my son on.
If my daughter had been crossing the street in front of the bus (as she often does) to make her way to school, why, one of you might have hit her! Talk about starting your day off right!
And to the lady who nearly hit me as she attempted to drive past the bus when I walked into the middle of the road...you're lucky I didn't drag your ass right out of the car.
I'm very glad that you heard me shout at you, and stopped...and rolled down your window to say, "Sorry, I didn't see."
I ever-so-graciously accepted your apology with a jaunty, "How stupid are you?" before I walked back to the driveway.
I do realize that, much like an elephant in your living room, it may be difficult for you to see the big yellow bus with the red flashing lights and the S-T-O-P sign protruding from the side. How hard it must have been for you! I was unaware that your vision was so impaired...perhaps you should get a sticker so that you can park in the handicapped spots. With such poor eyesight, I'm sure you qualify.
Here's my advice: pull your cellphone off your ear and pull your head out of your ass. It should be warm by now.
I love the fine weather we're having now, so that you have your car windows down. That way, when I shout, "MORON!" at you, you can hear me clearly with no interference from the rolled-up window. Aaaaah. Springtime.
So be warned, Fellow Motorists...one morning I will catch you unawares, as I go out with my video camera on...and get your plate number. You do know that our Men In Blue will send you a little nasty-gram, to the tune of $150?
Did you further know that last year, in a 3-week period, no less than SIX children were hit, and three of them died?
Be vigilant, be observant. When you see a school bus with the STOP SIGN out...then use whatever little bit of gray matter you've got left and STOP. Or did you think that just meant everybody but you?
Now I must close, as I'm off to the police station to see if they will lend me some of that road carpet stuff with the nails in it.
See you tomorrow morning.
11 comments:
The only time I feel bad is for those people who are driving and who really are out of it. Someone just died. They just got fired. They were just cheated on. In other words, the backstory is where it's at.
But MOST of the time, these things don't apply.
No, usually it's just a rude driver, desperately trying to save that second or 2.
No matter what kind of driver you are, (I am not completely immune to driving "quickly" at times) the moment you see that large yellow bus (very tough to miss) you need to slow the hell down and be alert. Those things don't even have seat belts- for God's sakes!
And as long as we're on the subject- slow down at cross walks, at the mall, anywhere near a play ground or park, in neighborhoods....and BTW if you happen to go over one of those annoying little hills in the pavement - those are called speed bumps you idiot...and they are a big fat CLUE!
(I am not ranting at you aka_monty, I am ranting with you...I feel better now, thanks)
My pleasure, MommaK...we've got to watch out for the little people. They can't do it themselves yet. :)
Thanks for visiting my blog over the weekend (via Muzik, I'm Ravens Hollow). Anyway, I'm retunring the favor :)
My unpublished but soon to be translated novel is a children's story, a fairy tale of sorts about a girl who no longer belives in fairy tales. Of course, she gets sucked into Fairyland and has to go on a quest and whatnot. It's not ready to be read by anybody yet, it doesn't even have chapters, but I'll put you on the list. Who knows, I may try to publish someday and will need the feedback!
I hate rude, inconsiderate drivers. 'Nuff said.
I'm with you on this rant! I don't understand why people don't seem to "notice" school buses. If you're in that big of a hurry, you should leave earlier. I always slow down in a school zone, and especially around buses. Ugh. It's kind of like those people who park in handicapped spaces when they are clearly just lazy. When my grandmother was alive, she had MS. We'd actually have to use those spaces for her, and half the time we couldn't find one because of all the lazy morons. I'm with you and mommak!
Hello aka_Monty...MommaK sent me...okay 3 things, can we say "hands free"? Unobservant and unaware drivers should not be allowed in cars and Yellow is not a proponent involved in colorblindness! I'm with ya on the completely bent part! Good luck with the men in blue. Do they know the men in white for those lovely moronics?
I cringe daily at driving behavior in my school's zone. What the hell are people thinking?
Asshats!! We have quite a large population of young, dumb asshats who speed through the school zones (and there is a school zone on every corner here, something like 4 HS and a billion elementary schools in my town), because God knows it is WAY more important to get to the mall or whatever after final afternoon formation.
great post! I totally agree with you. I try and be alert to the best I can when I'm out driving the subaru. I hate road rage especially! I once saw another motorist threaten a driver with a hammer at traffic lights!!! Scary stuff.
Post a Comment