Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Uh-oh, I feel a tirade coming on! **PLEASE CLEAR THE AREA**

Okay, so I'm somewhat addicted to "Reality" TV (please note the quotation marks). I have no idea why...I expect I'm a closet voyeur of old.
Laugh if you must, say what you will...but still. Don't act like you've never stopped in on one for a quick peek into someone else's life.
(Just like we do every day when reading each other's blogs) *wink wink nudge nudge*

I like Survivor and The Amazing Race...I root for the underdog and poke fun at the most idiotic, and always find someone I love to hate.

I like Fear Factor, because getting grossed out can be fun.

I recently discovered a new one, Nanny911...and I watch this because it makes me realize that I'm not such a bad mommy, after all. Nanny hasn't come to my house, has she? NO WAY, HOOOSAY, as my daughter says. That must mean I'm doing something right! (and to my mind, there's nothing that a swat on the behind wouldn't fix with some of those kiddos)
But that's aWHOLEnother argument.

I used to like the Bachelor...until all the girls started looking the same.
Joe Millionaire was sort of a bust~~the girls were too prissy to muck out a horse stall and I lost all respect for them.

I DO love The Apprentice...mostly to look at The Donald's toupee. Always gets me a-gigglin'. And watching the cutthroat tactics of the players..God save me from ever being that ambitious. ;)

Meet My Folks was pretty cool...I loved to watch 'em sweat during the Polygraph tests. Same with Who Wants To Marry My Dad. (Speaking of which, I have decided to do my own reality tv show starring me & my kids, called "Doesn't ANYBODY Wanna Marry My Mom?!" I think it's a sure-fire hit!)

SO.

Last night, during Prime Time, it suddenly became apparent that even I, "Reality" TV Junkie Extraordinaire, have my standards (ever so low as they may be).

I was surfing through my modest selection of TV channels (no cable nor satellite~~I know, I'm underprivileged), and I happened upon some show called "Who's Your Daddy?"

The premise of the show was that some girl had been given up for adoption at birth, and now was 'choosing' her bio-dad from a selection provided. O DEAR HEAVENS. Luckily, they gave her the right one in the end. *sigh* And even MORE luckily, he was the one she'd already chosen.

Good grief. Sheesh. Jeepers. Cripes.

First of all, the whole idea's just sad and sort of sick-making. Secondly, it seems a little bit cruel to all parties involved. And thirdly (which brings me to the second part of my rant), if I see one more face-lifted botox-injected collagen-plumped face, Ima start sniping. And by that, I don't mean go huntin' some snipe (did that when I was 16. Good times). And I don't mean start nagging, bitching, and complaining (already pretty well accomplished at those; I've been married, thankyaverymuch).

I mean climb up to the tippity-top of the tallest tower/steeple/building/whatever that I can find, armed with a rifle that is equipped with a laser scope. And possibly night-vision.

I mean really. Do these women not see their own faces in the mirror? Do they think that 'Permanent Poker-Face' is attractive?
What have we taught each other, as women, about how to define beauty?
In this author's humble opinion, these expressionless, stiff faces are perfect representations of the three 'V's~~Vacant, Vapid, and Vacuous.

Nothing moves on those faces, Barbie.
I realize I'm not the Beauty Police, but GAH.

It was nearly on level with "The Swan", which I must say I find to be a hideous program. What a lovely message we're giving to our daughters and sisters, eh? Not to mention those of us with low enough self-esteem to buy into the whole con. Get plastic surgery--get to be what you perceive as BEAUTIFUL. Then your life will be filled with happiness and love and singing birds and perfect health and you'll neverever have any problems ever again, say Amen.


Maybe men really do find this plastic portrayal of womanhood attractive.
Show of hands, fellas?

And now the gals. Do you think you'd look better with some augmentation? Would that make you truly happy? And deep, deep inside yourself where your darkest secrets lie...would you really be doing it to feel more attractive for yourself, as so many women claim? Or to be more attractive to the opposite sex? C'mon, you can tell me the real truth. I'll never tell a soul. I promise.

[/tirade]


I've just only noticed that I use an abnormal amount of alliteration in my entries...what do you suppose that says about me?
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