Sunday, December 19, 2004

A message to my soon-to-be-ex aunt in-law


Y'know, if you and my uncle are unhappy in your marriage, none of us would have faulted you for wanting to leave. After all, I've known him my whole life and our family is fully aware that he's not always the nicest person, nor the easiest to get along with.
But really.
You don't have to whore yourself out. You don't have to sneak off, and lie, and snuggle up to other men while you're out of town.
You don't have to disrespect him in front of your children. You don't have to say, right in front of him, "Oh, you don't have to listen to what your dad says."
That's sort of against the parenting rules.
I'm going to call you a tramp...because after all, that's what you've become. And treating your 14 year old daughter like a confidant? What the FUCK is wrong with you? You're 48, not 28. Why don't you try acting like an adult, and a halfway decent mother for a change.
Let me tell you a little somethin' about single-motherhood, to help dispell whatever asisinie, imbecilic ideas you've got squirming around in your tiny little mostly-unused brain.
Being a single mother doesn't mean PAR-TAY. It means being mom AND dad to your children. It means self-sacrifice. It means being involved in your children's actual LIVES, not just buying them everything they ever wanted (which frankly, your rotten little brats don't appreciate anyway). It means spending time with the kids. It means telling them "NO" once in awhile. It means putting your foot down, and meaning it. It means loneliness. It means no-one to go to the grocery store for you, or start the car & get it warmed up on cold days. It means doing EVERYTHING yourself. It means no-one to snuggle with at night (unless you've now become so much of a skanky slut that you'll bring your men into the house overnight, while your kids are there). It means not much social life. It means working your ass off every day, and coming home and working your ass off some more. It means no-one to lean on when you're tired. It means putting YOUR needs/wants LAST ON THE LIST. It means LEADING BY EXAMPLE...that is to say, being a good example for your children. A role model.

Personally, I don't think you're up for that. I didn't like you much 17 years ago when you first started dating my with your saccharine smile and your sweet-voiced condescension. I didn't think you were smart enough for him. But I swallowed all that and more, and welcomed you into the family. You were so sweet and nice to my grandma and great-grandma...but now that grams has alzheimer's and grandma has moved in to take care of her...where are YOU? Nowhere to be found. OH, can be found at the bar cuddled up to some random guy you just met.
Am I being harsh? Tough shit.
You've turned your back on your marriage vows. If you want to be divorced, fine & dandy...but don't start giving out your body to any (every?) Tom, Dick, and Harry until you actually GET the divorce.
Oh, and it's not cool to smoke pot with your 16 year old son.
And last Christmas he was stoned...we all saw that except for perhaps his dad and my grandma.
And it was REALLY CREEPY when you had him sit on your lap. Ugh. FREAK.
You try to buy off your children with whatever they want, whatever they ask for, and offer no discipline, rules, or boundaries. I pray to God that my children don't turn out to be the sort of selfish, self-serving, spoiled brats that you've turned your children into.
I could see that coming a mile away. Didn't you think it was strange when your daughter always wanted to wear her brother's clothes, right down to his underwear? And how she never grew out of saying that she was a boy? Didn't you realize that you were perpetuating that with the bowl-haircuts and boy's clothes that you gave in to?
And your son...less said on that, the better.
Yeah, you've done a bang-up job with those poor kids. They don't stand a chance.
You've systematically turned them against their father by bad-mouthing him to the kids' faces, by undoing any punishments he may have doled out, and just by being a generally selfish bitch. I can't even really blame the kids~I blame you. AND my uncle must take some of the responsibility...maybe if he hadn't tried to be SO strict you wouldn't have felt the need to undermine him. But I doubt it.
Don't you realize that the only friends you have left are the couple of divorced women that you've started hanging out with? What, do they make it sound really GRAND to be single? Boy, they've surely got you snowed. And really, aren't you a little old to be getting a tattoo NOW?
Haven't you got any self-respect?
You'll see. You just wait. When you end up used up, lonely, perhaps with any luck disease-ridden, I'll be the one pointing at you and laughing.
Hell, I'm certainly a million miles from being a perfect person, or a perfect mother, or a perfect anything (except for perhaps a perfect bitch)...but people who cheat on their spouses and abuse drugs are quite simply among the dregs of humanity.
I surely wish I could say all these things to your face, because you know I would. And if you continue to screw my uncle over, you can bet I will. I'm only biting my tongue in half right now in the interest of family peace, as my grandmother is forgiving and loving...things that I'm not so good at.
I loathe you.
You're leading your children right on the path to hell along with you.
Save your whoring around for AFTER the divorce, you tight-assed bitch.
Try putting your children first, for a change.
Try to be a semi-decent human being, if it's not too late for you. But I'm pretty sure it is.
Don't call me. Unless, of course, you want my honest opinion.

Whew. Got that off my chest. DAMN if I'm not pissed.

ON a lighter note...
I was a well-oiled shopping machine today. :) I slithered into spaces between carts like a shadow. I dodged grandmothers and families of 12 with ease. I sped up and down the aisles like a jet-fueled engine.
AND finished all my Christmas shopping, from A to Zed.
Santa ain't got nothin' on me. =)
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