40 yr. young single mom. 13-year-old twins, boy & girl. My son is disabled. My life is often
amusing / frustrating / ridiculous. I'm fairly neurotic, frequently depressed, often anxious. Come
and experience my unqualified mediocrity.
My Personal Philosophy: Take life with a grain of salt, a dash of pepper, and a shot of tequila.
If you know me at all, you know I love my music. I love it so much that I rock it out every Friday night on my very own fake radio show.
It was the worst twist of fate that as much as I love music, as much as I live it and need it and feel it and immerse myself in it... I have ZERO MUSICAL TALENT. I cannot read music. I cannot play any instrument. I cannot sing. Well, I can, but the results are not good.
OH I know, I was already a RAWK STAR, thankyouverymuch. But this game is freaking AWESOME! I have a HUGE (eff off Paris, you utter twit, I can say HUGE if I want to) fan base and there's a cool Fan Request mode. You can FACE OFF against the game to win more fans. There are guitar duels in which you have to blow into the microphone to "cool" the fire, fix broken strings, & more challenges.
This particular game is the "MODERN HITS"... well, again, if you know me at all you know that I love my 70s & 80s music, my classic rock, my oldies... but surprisingly some of my favorites from Finger Eleven, Fall Out Boy & Modest Mouse were on the set list. It comes with a "pick" stylus and an insert with the fret buttons.
If I have one complaint it is that insert does NOT always stay in securely when you have your hand through the "convenient" adjustable velcro strap -- several times I was TOTALLY rocking out and the game went BLANK and then gave me an error message because apparently the fret thingy had slipped out a little bit. That was a large pain in my large ass. BUT I eventually figured out that if I did NOT use the strap, the keys were less likely to come out. Because seriously, you have to rock your whole body. And dance. And sing if you know the words.
I LOVE THIS GAME. I've already decided to get my daughter one of the other Guitar Hero Toursso that *I* can play it when Christmas rolls around this year.
Apparently someone thinks I'm funny. *I* think you just enjoy laughing AT me.
What the hell, as long as you're here, you might as well go VOTE FOR ME. Not that I'll win. Also, is there a prize? I don't want to win if there's no prize.
Sort of like the BoB (NO, I'm talking about Best of Blogs awards, not Battery Operated Boyfriend awards, which, by the way, would totally be won by me and my BOB which I recently received from Eden Fantasy, is all I'm saying)... ANYWAY I won a BoB award a couple years ago AND NEVER EVER EVER EVER GOT THE ADVERTISED PRIZE. NEVER. STILL. TO THIS DAY. EVEN AFTER I BROUGHT IT TO THEIR ATTENTION ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION.
Dear Ol' Dad's Day is JUST AROUND THE CORNER -- I don't know about you but I struggle EVERY year to find a Father's Day gift for My Two Dads (YES, I have TWO so I am DOUBLE LUCKY!)...both of whom already have everything.
Okay, maybe not EVERYTHING, but everything they WANT, you know? I have one dad who has practically non-existent needs because if he wants something, he just gets it. Come to think of it, a lot of guys I know are JUST LIKE THAT *coughJECKLEScough*. My other dad just says "NOTHING. I NEED NOTHING" whenever one of us tries to probe for information.
SO FRUSTRATING.
So in retaliation I usually just call them with a "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY and I'M THE BEST GIFT YOU COULD EVER GET AND YOU'VE ALREADY GOT ONE OF THOSE!".
Shut up. I AM A GREAT GIFT TO HUMANITY.
Anyway. Mom Central has proved to be a HUGE help this year with the Father's Day Gift Guide! BBQ Grill tools, tents, imported beer steins, Norelco razors, books, cameras -- you can find something there to fit your budget! They have gift suggestions from UNDER $25if you're a cheap bastard like me to OVER $100. THIS IS A MOST FANTASTIC IDEA.
Also? WIN FREE STUFF. We all know how much I LOVE the free stuff. And the winning of it.
So hurry up and head over to Mom Central's Father's Day Gift Guide... do your shopping for Daddy-O AND register so you can enter to win FREEEEEE GIIIIIIFTS. Srsly. You can thank me later in the form of chocolates and french kisses.
WARNING! There is a product review of an adult-type nature coming soon. Shield yourself. STAY AWAY. THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. Seriously. I mean it. Otherwise I won't be able to look you in the face.
Three things. 1. Thanks for vandalizing Oklahoma City with PICTURES OF SHARKS. And the UNITED WAY billboard? Seriously? 2. OKLAHOMA IS LANDLOCKED. We have no oceans with sharks, so what was the fucking point? 3. Celebrities should be fined and jailed just like anyone else.
OH and PS: MORON.
Sincerely, Someone who's never been a fan especially after the Fantastic Four because OHEMGEE you sucked and really, so did both movies.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Git-tar HERO
It was the worst twist of fate that as much as I love music, as much as I live it and need it and feel it and immerse myself in it... I have ZERO MUSICAL TALENT.
I cannot read music.
I cannot play any instrument.
I cannot sing. Well, I can, but the results are not good.
But thanks to Mom Central and Guitar Hero and Nintendo DS... I CAN BE A ROCK STAR.
OH I know, I was already a RAWK STAR, thankyouverymuch. But this game is freaking AWESOME! I have a HUGE (eff off Paris, you utter twit, I can say HUGE if I want to) fan base and there's a cool Fan Request mode. You can FACE OFF against the game to win more fans. There are guitar duels in which you have to blow into the microphone to "cool" the fire, fix broken strings, & more challenges.
This particular game is the "MODERN HITS"... well, again, if you know me at all you know that I love my 70s & 80s music, my classic rock, my oldies... but surprisingly some of my favorites from Finger Eleven, Fall Out Boy & Modest Mouse were on the set list.
It comes with a "pick" stylus and an insert with the fret buttons.
If I have one complaint it is that insert does NOT always stay in securely when you have your hand through the "convenient" adjustable velcro strap -- several times I was TOTALLY rocking out and the game went BLANK and then gave me an error message because apparently the fret thingy had slipped out a little bit.
That was a large pain in my large ass.
BUT I eventually figured out that if I did NOT use the strap, the keys were less likely to come out.
Because seriously, you have to rock your whole body. And dance. And sing if you know the words.
I've already decided to get my daughter one of the other Guitar Hero Tours
so that *I* can play itwhen Christmas rolls around this year.I LOVE THIS GAME.
Did I say that already?
Labels: mom central, music, Review, stuff I like
Posted by aka_Monty @ 11:02 PM
Thursday, June 25, 2009
WTF is wrong with you people?
Apparently someone thinks I'm funny.*I* think you just enjoy laughing AT me.
What the hell, as long as you're here, you might as well go VOTE FOR ME.
Not that I'll win. Also, is there a prize? I don't want to win if there's no prize.
Sort of like the BoB (NO, I'm talking about Best of Blogs awards, not Battery Operated Boyfriend awards, which, by the way, would totally be won by me and my BOB which I recently received from Eden Fantasy, is all I'm saying)... ANYWAY I won a BoB award a couple years ago AND NEVER EVER EVER EVER GOT THE ADVERTISED PRIZE.
NEVER.
STILL.
TO THIS DAY.
EVEN AFTER I BROUGHT IT TO THEIR ATTENTION ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION.
But I'm not bitter.
Labels: awards, stuff that makes me laugh, vote for me, win win win
Posted by aka_Monty @ 11:01 AM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Dear Dad: THANKS for, you know, everything.
Dear Ol' Dad's Day is JUST AROUND THE CORNER -- I don't know about you but I struggle EVERY year to find a Father's Day gift for My Two Dads (YES, I have TWO so I am DOUBLE LUCKY!)...both of whom already have everything.
Okay, maybe not EVERYTHING, but everything they WANT, you know? I have one dad who has practically non-existent needs because if he wants something, he just gets it. Come to think of it, a lot of guys I know are JUST LIKE THAT *coughJECKLEScough*.
My other dad just says "NOTHING. I NEED NOTHING" whenever one of us tries to probe for information.
SO FRUSTRATING.
So in retaliation I usually just call them with a "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY and I'M THE BEST GIFT YOU COULD EVER GET AND YOU'VE ALREADY GOT ONE OF THOSE!".
Shut up. I AM A GREAT GIFT TO HUMANITY.
Anyway. Mom Central has proved to be a HUGE help this year with the Father's Day Gift Guide!
BBQ Grill tools, tents, imported beer steins, Norelco razors, books, cameras -- you can find something there to fit your budget! They have gift suggestions from UNDER $25
if you're a cheap bastard like meto OVER $100.THIS IS A MOST FANTASTIC IDEA.
Also? WIN FREE STUFF.
We all know how much I LOVE the free stuff. And the winning of it.
Srsly.
You can thank me later in the form of chocolates and french kisses.
Labels: family, mom central
Posted by aka_Monty @ 2:57 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
You can't say you weren't warned.
Dear Any Family Member Who Reads This:WARNING!
There is a product review of an adult-type nature coming soon.
Shield yourself.
STAY AWAY. THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
Seriously. I mean it. Otherwise I won't be able to look you in the face.
Okay? We good?
Great.
Thanks.
Love and kisses,
Me.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 2:09 PM
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Because my life IS a reality show.
Working on the pilot episode of "Real Housewives of The Trailer Park".Labels: funny thoughts, life, stuff that makes me laugh
Posted by aka_Monty @ 11:36 PM
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
She doesn't have to PLAY dumb.
Dear Jessica Alba:Three things.
1. Thanks for vandalizing Oklahoma City with PICTURES OF SHARKS. And the UNITED WAY billboard? Seriously?
2. OKLAHOMA IS LANDLOCKED. We have no oceans with sharks, so what was the fucking point?
3. Celebrities should be fined and jailed just like anyone else.
OH and PS: MORON.
Sincerely,
Someone who's never been a fan especially after the Fantastic Four because OHEMGEE you sucked and really, so did both movies.
Labels: celebrity shenanigans, open letters, piss off
Posted by aka_Monty @ 5:25 PM