Saturday, June 06, 2009

Lost In Translation

What I said: "I'm sure it was a really tough situation and you handled it the best way you could."

What I meant: "STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND GROW A PAIR! What are you, a GIRL?"


What I said: "I'm really sorry to hear that! It must be hard."

What I meant: "STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC with your every single thought! Also who CARES?"


What I said: "That never gets old!"

What I meant: "PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE YOU TELL THAT STORY AGAIN FOR THE FORTY-ELEVENTH TIME."


What I said: "Sure, that sounds like fun!"

What I meant: "DAMMIT, why couldn't I think of an excuse faster??"


What I said: "How interesting!"

What I meant: "I wish I had a gun with which to shoot myself in the leg, just to have something to do that would KEEP ME AWAKE."


What I said: "Seriously, SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE."

What I meant: "Seriously, SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE."


This has been a Public Service Announcement.
Now carry on with your lives, citizens.
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