Wednesday, April 01, 2009


One of the things I like most about Twitter is that it teaches you how to convey a lot of info in a very small space.

Mommybloggers lost every ounce of humor (and respect) that they once possessed in their repeated bids and subsequent failures to take over the internets.

I often think that the current Social Media fad will go the way of Work At Home Insurance Billing.

I am continually amazed when people come at me with their guns a-blazin' and then they're all SURPRISED when I don't take their shit.
HELLO, have you MET me? (internetally speaking, of course)
Obviously they've been getting away with their assholery for FAR too long and you other people need to stop avoiding confrontation and offer some smackdown. Seriously.
I can't do everything myself.

I've decided to update my Personals profile to be completely accurate and honest.

"Single mother of 14 year old twins. Supersized, blue eyes, nice smile only slightly marred by the scar on my lip.
Former (weak-willed) smoker, rare drinker, hate sloppy drunks and cheaters.
Hobbies include staying home and watching "reality" tv shows and emailing with my internet friends all evening, every evening.

I will most likely ignore you if I am working, emailing, reading, or watching TV, so please do not talk to me.
Do not ever, ever touch the remote unless I am not in residence at the time. Do not ask if I will change the TV.

Do not grope me if I am involved in one of the aforementioned activities or you will likely get headstabbed.

I like Monty Python, Steve Martin, and musicals.

I am lazy and do not clean or cook, that's why I have kids and why McDonalds & pizza were invented.
Did I mention that I am really lazy? Some people find this charming and quirky. At first.
I yell a lot when people get on my nerves, use foul language, and sometimes throw things at the wall. It would be your responsibility to get out of the way.

Also I have a brilliant personality, but don't hold your breath that you'll ever see it. It's reserved for special occasions only.

If interested, call me!"

I KNOW, I can't believe I'm still single EITHER!!

If you're one of the (few) people I like and if you're going too, please email me so I can spend some time with you!

That is all.
Have a day.
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