Thursday, September 21, 2006

Fake Thursday SomethingTeen

Okay, so I was going to do the Thursday Thirteen thingy, but there were too many rules to read about joining and something about comments being off or on and quite frankly I'm already so far behind in my work that I didn't have time to read it.
Perhaps next time.
If I meet the criteria (see, that's part of what I didn't have time to read through)(somehow I thought it would be much simpler)(but we all know I'm technologically challenged anyway and don't understand stuff).
If I was smart enough to figure out all the stuff going to play, here's what my list would be:

"Thirteen Handy-Dandy Hints For Everyone Thinking Of Auditioning For Survivor"

1. Learn to make fire, using just wood and coconut fluff-stuff. Practice, practice, practice making fire.

2. Learn to make fire, using a flint and knife. Practice, practice, practice making fire.
(seriously, have you never watched the show? For crap's sake)

3. Read some books on building simple shelter with bamboo and palm leaves. There is almost always bamboo and palm leaves.

4. PRACTICE building simple shelters. Practice, practice, practice.

5. Learn to fish. Part of learning to fish is learning to clean 'em & cook 'em up on the fire that you built out of just wood and coconut fluff-stuff.

6. Ladies, wax the pits & legs. A professional job would be best.

7. A bikini wax would not be amiss.

8. Men, wax the backs. This is actually good advice whether or not you decide to audition for Survivor. It should be part of your regular routine. Because ew.

9. When you find out you get picked, WEAR.APPROPRIATE.UNDERGARMENTS. The heavy duty kind might not be a bad idea. Leave the lacys at home.

10. Read some books on recognizing edible tropical plants. And bugs. Some of them might be tasty and packed full of protein. You never know.

11. Tone up a little. There will be a number of rigorous challenges. (Seriously, I ask you again--have you never watched the show?)

12. LEARN.TO.SWIM. Need I say more?

13. Read "101 Ways To Cook Coconut". It just makes good sense.

Please forgive me for the dearth of commenting lately. I am a terrible blog-friend.
And I've become a lurker, somehow.
I do, however, have a plan to correct this behavior. I'll tell you about it later.

That is all.
Have a day.
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