Saturday, July 15, 2006

Don't Take It Personally.

but first...
I have one UNVERIFIED donation just a-waitin' confirmation...and IT WILL PUT ME OVER THE $500 MARK.
You are fabulous, each and every one of you.
So I owe you the $400 song, and as soon as one of you clicks the link in your VERIFICATION email, I will and I owe you a Salt-N-Peppa Rap.
$538! $538! $538! $538! $538! $538! $538! $538!
THANK YOU all so very much. Spread the word, please. Send your friends. I will love them too.
And give yourselves a nice pat on the back. You deserve it.

Okay, so the other day my dear, darling, wonderful pal MOMMAK had a post about being BLOGDISSED.
(not Trolling, just neglecting to communicate with our blogfriends)

I couldn't help but feel that that was directed, in large part, toward me.

Did she mean for me to be included in that group of 'dissers?
No idea.
So don't think I'm trying to take her to task about it, or pointing fingers, or complaining about it. I'm SO not. It was an excellent post.

But when I read it I felt a twinge of...guilty conscience, I guess, because I know that I have unintentionally dissed you guys with the comments.
By which I mean I haven't been leaving very many.

Maybe I'm just terribly vain, because sometimes I make everything about me me me me memememememememememe.
Which is sort of the point that I'm going to try to make.
I make stuff about me, and that's not your fault.

Were my feelings hurt when I thought that was directed at me?
Sure they were.
But that was because of the guilt I felt. When you feel guilty, you get defensive, and I wanted to say HEY, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN LEAVING COMMENTS HERE VERY OFTEN EITHER!...but then I realized I would just be projecting.

NOBODY said, or even implied, "Hey Monty, you suck as a friend."
Nobody except my own tiny little brain.

PLUS I realized a long time ago, when I have posted about the 'unnamed' and gotten flurries of email, I can't be responsible for how you feel.
If you take it personally, and think I'm talking about you, perhaps you have a wee twinge of guilt.
It isn't my fault. I'm sorry, but it isn't.
And the reverse is quite true: YOU are not responsible for how I feel.
I wouldn't hurt your feelings, any of you (except for those vile and nasty creatures whom I loathe), for all the tea in China, but I can't be held responsible if you think I'm referring to you when really you were nowhere in my mind at that particular time.

So I didn't ask my friend whom I adore if I was included in those people, the dissers...because if perchance she didn't mean to include me, I didn't want her to feel bad because I felt bad.
You follow?

Let me just offer a blanket apology to anyone who might have felt 'dissed, and a small explanation.
I read most all you guys on bloglines~it's much simpler when I'm at work to have one window open to Bloglines, and just read a little at a time.
SOME of the feeds show the "comments" link at the bottom of each post...but most do not.
I find myself leaving comments more often when that little 'comments' link appears, because it's right there in front of my face.

So what I'm trying to say is that even though I may not be leaving comments, I am there with you. All the time. I mean it.
Seriously, how could I possibly survive without you?
I couldn't.
And you can't make me.

Forgive me?
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