Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Intermission, take 2

Survivor pics tomorrow.

And I'm a little disturbed by the fact that grossest and most unusual stuff happened to be things I have around the house.
I'm not sure what that says about me.
I'm not sure I want to know what that says about me.


So I ran across a blog yesterday by a woman whose husband had cheated on her with a woman he worked with.
She reconciled with her husband...and apparently hubs saw the 'other woman' getting out of a car yesterday and he immediately called Wifey to tell her about it.

Then Wifey (author of the blog I was reading) went off on the other woman, with lots of whore, slut, etc etc.
I get the anger, the hurt, the lingering squinch your insides get whenever you think of that 'other woman'.

So, I guess Hubs was totally innocent, lured to his doom by the mystical, magical powers of the other woman?

I don't get that.

My ex-husband cheated on me, with a friend of mine, in fact.
It was easier to forgive her than it was to forgive him...because he lied and she told the truth when confronted...and because I knew the charm he was capable of pouring out.
I knew she was in a bad place.

Granted, my situation was much different...my ex husband was abusive and cruel, so it's no wonder that I wasn't willing to forgive him.
It was actually a good thing, because it was the last straw.
And it caused me to admit, for the first time (to my cheating friend, ironically), that I had been hit, and choked, and slapped around, and suffered so many small cruelties that were too numerous to track.

If you're sitting there shaking your head and thinking oh how could you be so stupid? Why didn't you just leave? Blah blah blahdeblahblah?
then I say you don't know.
If you haven't been in the situation, you don't know how...insidious...these guys can be.
How they sort of brain-wash you. (okay okay, how I LET MYSELF become brainwashed)
What begins as "We're lucky to have each other" becomes "You're lucky to have me" and then "No-one else will have you anyway".
When you're told you're ugly/lazy/fat/stupid/worthless over and over, a part of your mind begins to believe it.
I was always the loudest when I was younger..."No man will ever lay a hand on me!"
Well.
Just goes to show.
Luckily, I'm not the same person now as I was then.

but I digress...
(teehee, see what I did right there?)

Anyway anyway anyway.
I didn't mean to get into all that.
Alls I'm sayin' is that I will never understand why The Other Woman ends up taking all the blame, and your lying/cheating husband suddenly becomes The Innocent Man Who Was Taken Advantage Of By A Scheming Seductress And It's Okay That He's Weak Because After All He's Only A Man.

I don't buy it.
Is all I'm saying.
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