Please go visit my newest tenant (and a long time favorite), that Queen of the 80's, that Leader of the Housewife Mafia....ANGIE from FICKEN CHINGERS!
You know you want to.
An overheard conversation in my head:
ME: I need a cigarette.
SELF: No, you really don't.
ME: I DO. Just one.
SELF: No, you really don't. Why throw away all your hard work?
ME: Bitch. I said JUST ONE.
SELF: First one, then two...then you're back to a pack a day.
ME: HA! Liar. I never smoked a pack a day. Maybe...three quarters of a pack.
SELF: *sigh* Close enough. Think of how many people, especially your daughter, who would be so disappointed.
ME: I can have just one. I'll mooch one from C at work.
SELF: So mom just wasted that money getting you the patch that YOU requested for Christmas.
ME: Bite my ass. Bitch. I can do whatever I damn well want. It's my money.
SELF: No, actually its my money. I earned it.
ME: How do you figure?
SELF: Umm, gee, because MY section of the brain knows how to read and type...
ME: (fuck you...)
SELF: ...while YOUR section of the brain just wants cigarettes and chocolate.
ME: (...and the horse you rode in on)
SELF: So NO cigarettes. And that's final.
ME: I hate you.
this is actually a daily conversation.