Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Profanities Ahead. Fuckin' A.

Dear Oklahoma Natural Gas company (aka Dirty Fucking Scum-sucking GREEDY BASTARD PIG DOGS):

I loathe you with every fiber of my being. I hope you all rot in the deepest pits of hell, joined by those vile, nasty, disgusting hate-filled creatures that never, ever stop bitching and who viciously slandered my name on the internet over a case of mistaken identity. (remind me to tell you that story some time, although I will be far kinder and more generous in NOT mentioning their names or blogs~though why I would be that nice is frankly beyond me)
I realize that we must pay for our natural gas. I further realize that having a gas powered central heating system costs a lot of money.
However, I turn my heater down to 55º every morning at 8:30 when I leave for work, and I do not turn it back up (to only 68º) until I return home at approximately 8:00 PM. As I rarely cook, my (gas) stove and oven have not been used.

So please explain to me how you can live with yourselves when you sent me a gas bill for THREE HUNDRED AND SEVEN FUCKING DOLLARS!!!
I'd sure as hell like to know where all that gas went. THREE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS.
For ONE MONTH.
I can't even comprehend that.

You suck, and if I were a serial killer, rest assured that your office would be first on my list.
I hate you all. A pox on you and your houses.

Sincerely,
A dissatisfied customer.
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