Saturday, November 19, 2005

Scent of a Hangover

but first...
Many of you know *coughMommaKcough* that I have a thing for limericks.

So in honor of two highly entertaining (and mostly simultaneous) conversations I had today in which I actually had to cross my legs to keep from peeing my pants (hey, once you have kids, sometimes bladder control is an issue), I give you the following:

There once were two Sisters Bizarre
One of whom tp-ed inside a car
Oh that Ivy and Jules
Love to break all the rules
And are both chasing Follow That Star.

One of them got treated to an original, one of a kind song written and performed by yrs. truly.
And as an added bonus, a mother/daughter duet of "Genie In A Bottle".

**For Jules' eyes only: Did you do the thing at the place today? ;)

Now children, pay attention. The following is an example of what can happen when you drink too much, have a hangover, and converse with others who have the same problem.
Don't try this at home.

Available for the first time to the public through a one time special offer!

Through massive collaborative effort, the scientists at the JulesMontyCorp have been working overtime to bring you the following products:

Got a tiny house, a single bathroom, and an overnight guest with tummy trouble? Do you dread your husband's exit from the bathroom after a Saturday night of beer and pickled eggs?
Don't cover the stench with a flowery scent~roses and poo don't mix. Deodorize that bathroom with the incredible new air freshener called
"No Shit"!

No Shit will make sure that you never have to be afraid to leave a bathroom that doesn't have a fan. Your house will always smell fresh and clean~~No Shit!
**Available in purse and pocket size

Ladies, kick off every morning in the right way with your very own, brand new, super-exciting Kick-Start Vibrator! Powered by a single car battery, this vibrator provides thousands of uses at FULL POWER! Yes, that's right, I said FULL POWER!
You don't have to get dressed up or make conversation. Kick-Start doesn't require any ego-stroking and will never expect you to make breakfast.
Fall asleep with a smile every night~once you've tried Kick-Start, you'll never go back!

**Warning: Not for people with pacemakers or women who ever expect to be satisfied by a man again

While supplies last!
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