Many of you know *coughMommaKcough* that I have a thing for limericks.
So in honor of two highly entertaining (and mostly simultaneous) conversations I had today in which I actually had to cross my legs to keep from peeing my pants (hey, once you have kids, sometimes bladder control is an issue), I give you the following:
There once were two Sisters Bizarre
One of whom tp-ed inside a car
Oh that Ivy and Jules
Love to break all the rules
And are both chasing Follow That Star.
One of them got treated to an original, one of a kind song written and performed by yrs. truly.
And as an added bonus, a mother/daughter duet of "Genie In A Bottle".
**For Jules' eyes only: Did you do the thing at the place today? ;)
Now children, pay attention. The following is an example of what can happen when you drink too much, have a hangover, and converse with others who have the same problem.
Don't try this at home.
Available for the first time to the public through a one time special offer!
Through massive collaborative effort, the scientists at the JulesMontyCorp have been working overtime to bring you the following products:
Got a tiny house, a single bathroom, and an overnight guest with tummy trouble? Do you dread your husband's exit from the bathroom after a Saturday night of beer and pickled eggs?
Don't cover the stench with a flowery scent~roses and poo don't mix. Deodorize that bathroom with the incredible new air freshener called
No Shit will make sure that you never have to be afraid to leave a bathroom that doesn't have a fan. Your house will always smell fresh and clean~~No Shit!
**Available in purse and pocket size
Ladies, kick off every morning in the right way with your very own, brand new, super-exciting Kick-Start Vibrator! Powered by a single car battery, this vibrator provides thousands of uses at FULL POWER! Yes, that's right, I said FULL POWER!
You don't have to get dressed up or make conversation. Kick-Start doesn't require any ego-stroking and will never expect you to make breakfast.
Fall asleep with a smile every night~once you've tried Kick-Start, you'll never go back!
**Warning: Not for people with pacemakers or women who ever expect to be satisfied by a man again
While supplies last!