I'm not nitpicky.
Really. I'm SO NOT. I don't like to pick the nits.
DO.NOT.
See, lice and nits fall under that whole "any kind of bugs touching my skin FREAKS ME OUT!" umbrella.
I was lucky as a youngster; I never had lice. Never, not once.
Which now strikes me as having dodged a bullet, since all my girlfriends and I shared brushes, combs, hats, and jackets.
My sister, though? She had lice about 4 times, and I laughed and laughed and made fun of her.
BIG mistake. HUGE.
Because the first month of kindergarten, I got a call from my daughter's school.
Yep.
"Come pick up your girl, she's got head lice."
OH.EM.GEE.
I had no idea how to deal with it.
I was all OH, no PROBLEM, I'll get some of that lice shampoo and comb her hair and BAM! No more lice.
And I did that (gagging a few times & shuddering & ceaselessly scratching my head and neck). Sent her back to school the next day...yeah, you guessed it: "Come pick up your daughter, she's still got lice."
Let me tell you, she spent a whole week at home and I spent that week practically in tears because I COULD NOT GET ALL THE DAMN THINGS OUT.
Stupid little teeny comb. Stupid stick-on lice. Stupid BUG-O-PHOBIA.
Mean Mom wouldn't help.
Two months later...SHE GOT IT AGAIN.
I almost just shaved her head that time.
Luckily good sense prevailed & I did NOT shave her head...but she did get a really cute (and very short) pixie cut. Well, sort of. I called it a pixie because it was short and uneven and sort of shaggy, because let's face it - hair-cutting is not where my talent lies.
ANYWAY. I used Rid those times (and I'm sure that's a name many of you are very familiar with), but I wanted to let you know about a PESTICIDE FREE lice treatment that's available now, LICE MD.
It's pediatrician tested, it helps prevent re-infestation, and -BEST OF ALL!- has a proven 100% effective comb.
AND you can reapply as needed! And it isn't STINKY!
I wish I'd've had Lice MD back then...but you can bet I'll be giving it a shot if there's a next time.
Check out their website: http://www.LiceMD.comNow excuse me, I need to go wash my hair. And scratch.
Labels: family, kids, life, mom central consulting, Review
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Holy Shit.
Posted by aka_Monty @ 7:53 AM
Saturday, April 12, 2008
How can turning 40 be bad with THESE?!??
OH EM GEE THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER AND IT ISN'T EVEN MY BIRTHDAY YET!Got my killa bunny slippers, which are made of awesome.
And today?
And also?
If there was a prize for Biggest Supporter And Good-Thought Thinker Ever, it would have to go to my dear friend Steph, who sent me THIS AMAZING AND MARVELOUS PIECE OF ART:
*sigh*
My life could NOT be any better right now. I don't even have the words to say thank you. Except...well, THANK YOU!
So if you'll excuse me, I have toys to play with, a golden lasso to wrap around my daughter to make her tell the truth, and an awesomely clever movie to watch.
Labels: friends, Fun, happy birthday to me, life
Posted by aka_Monty @ 5:33 PM
Friday, April 11, 2008
It's raining babies! Halleluja!
Raehan is one of my oldest (and most favorite) blogfriends. She's sweet natured and gentle, super-intelligent and kind -- I know, I know, my complete opposite. Why are we friends again?
Mostly through my good luck and her bad taste. :)
ANYWAY.
The beauteous Raehan is due to give birth very, very soon, and we're having a virtual baby shower! It's open to all you lovely people, and you don't even have to bring a gift (but of course, you can if you want to - GO HERE to donate to the cause!).
Her due date is officially April 29, but since MY birthday is April 19th, I took that date in the baby pool. COME ON BABY, it's only 10 days early! Do me right.
Now, YOU run on over to Raehan's Place and tell her congratulations and have a glass of punch. Make sure you get the green punch, because that's the bowl I spiked.
LOVE YOU, RAE!! And all your babies too. xoxoxoxoxoxox
And also?
9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific
It's COLOR-PALOOZA!!
Songs with all the colors of the rainbow will abound tonight.
And Empire Radio is all moved into its new home - LISTEN HERE or HERE!
The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.
Hey, everyone else is doin' it.
Labels: friday night live, friends, mpyrradio.com, Radio
Posted by aka_Monty @ 7:58 PM
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
To date, the best birthday present EVAR!Okay, my birthday's not until the 19th...but they CAME EARLY.
Totally not my fault. :)
They're soft and furry, they're cozy and squishy and warm...
(and OH EM GEE how CANKLE-Y do I look from that angle??)
Awww look, it's just a cute fuzzy bunny!
What?! AAAARRRRGGGGHH!!
DEATH AWAITS YOU ALL WITH NASTY, BIG, POINTY TEETH!
Thank you so, so much DeeJay!! You're my hero.
XOXOX
Labels: friends, happy birthday to me, life, presents
Posted by aka_Monty @ 7:58 PM
Friday, April 04, 2008
TWO IMPORTANT THINGIES!
First...9pm Central, 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific
It's the ALL REQUEST SHOW!!
And Empire Radio is all moved into its new home - LISTEN HERE!
The Mosh Pit will be open!
Come and bring me a live request.
Hey, everyone else is doin' it.
AND ALSO!
This Sunday, APRIL 6th at 6pm EASTERN - It's the
BIG HONKIN' DUET SHOW
with Mr. Fabulous!
You won't want to miss it on Blog Talk Radio.
Labels: friday night live, mpyrradio.com, Radio
Posted by aka_Monty @ 6:54 PM
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
A lovely Tuesday surprise, and it wasn't even an April Fool's joke
Many of you already know that Kimberly of Petroville and Lindsay of Suburban Turmoil host a monthly event: The Perfect Post Awards.(if you didn't know, then shame on you!)
I'm feelin' the love this month, because two of my favorite blog-pals decided to honor me with an award!
Thank you so much, HOSS and SIMPLY SASSY! I'm very glad you enjoyed THIS POST.
Y'all ROCK.
Labels: awards, Book Review, life, perfect post
Posted by aka_Monty @ 3:25 PM
Monday, March 31, 2008
A review for a book that hit me where I live.
First, a confession: When Mother Talk offered "A Road Map To Holland" by Jennifer Graf Groneberg up for review, my first thought was "Aha! I want to be on this book tour - I'll be able to relate."
When the book arrived, however, I had misgivings. I wondered how it might affect me emotionally. Well, typically I like to be affected emotionally by the books that I read, but I worried that it might be a bit too much. But I'm generally pretty comfortable discussing the circumstances of my own children's premature birth, so I dove in.
And wept my way through the entire book.
Five days after the premature birth of the author's twins, one of them was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.
It plunged me right back there, thirteen years ago in the NICU...feeling the same fears and heavy guilt and grief and helplessness and the ever-present "It's NOT FAIR!".
Struggles with disrespectful and uncaring doctors and nurses, with friends who turn away, with the TELLING of the news...and the love and support from so many unexpected sources.
"I hate my weakness. I hate my fear. I hate my selfishness. I hate the NICU, and the cheery nurses in bright colorful caps. I hate the niceties, every 'Good morning!' and 'You look wonderful!' and the standard response to any question about the babies: 'They're doing great!' As if I can't see the state of affairs clearly, as if I'm a child that needs to be handled, or an imbecile."
I also spent some time angry at the author for some of her feelings, only underneath it wasn't really anger, it was shame - because some of those same thoughts could've come right out of my head. Like wanting to run away, or stick my head in the sand, or just...not deal with anything.
"Breathe, baby, breathe."
"Please, baby, please. Please, come back to me."
People ask, "Hoping for a girl or a boy?" and we reply, "Doesn't matter, as long as Baby is healthy!"
But what if Baby (or in my case - and the author's, BABIES) is NOT healthy? Does that mean you don't have to step up to the plate and parent? Is that a deal-breaker?
No, of course not.
If I'd have ever been pregnant again, my answer would've been "Doesn't matter, as long as Baby is alive."
"I haven't held the twins. I've barely even seen them."
Jennifer's twins were born several weeks early, by C-Section. It was difficult, having them whisked away to NICU immediately. No cuddling, no bonding, no shared happy tears. Only the vague nausea from the anesthesia, the sort of...emptiness and sadness, the feeling that something is off.
"While we were waiting, a nurse I had never seen before comes up to me. 'I wanted to tell you,' she says, 'that there's a waiting list for babies like yours. People waiting in line to adopt them.'"
Jennifer Graf Groneberg takes us through her spectrum of overwhelming emotions, being brutally honest about her reactions and thoughts. Courage is something she doesn't appear to lack, because it's hard to admit to some of those feelings. It's shameful to admit when you think of just running away, or consider (however briefly) letting someone more "qualified" have your baby.
Man, this is hard.
Jennifer brings you into her life, on the journey from birth to the NICU through the first couple of years...and it's a heartbreaking and beautiful story.
Whether you have children or not, whether they're disabled in some way or not, read this book.
At the very least, it will help promote understanding, especially if you're faced with a situation in which you don't know what to say or how to be a friend to someone with disabled children.
READ IT.
You'll thank me later, I promise.
It's like this, she says: expecting a baby is like planning a fabulous trip. Everyone you know, including you, is planning to go to Italy. But after months of eager anticipation, you get the news that your arrangements have changed. You still go on a trip, but not to Italy. The place you're in isn't a bad place, it's just different. Slower-paced. Less flashy. Instead of Italy, you're in Holland. She continues the metaphor, allowing for the disappointment of missing out on Italy, like everyone else. But still, she says, once you get acclimated, you might find there is much that is good about Holland."
I live in "Holland" now, and there's no place I'd rather be.
Labels: Blog Tour, Book Review, kids, less shallow thoughts, life, Mother Talk
Posted by aka_Monty @ 1:47 PM